Angels Evil Secret Fax Plan
by dragonfly and malilee
Summary: So... Max and Fang think they cant be together! Think again! Handcuffs, Angel and I HATE YOU's can prove to be very effective... p.s its not that bad but apparently i have to rate it M! oh well
1. In the Beginning

The first thing I noticed when I woke up, was that I was higher than I usually am, warmer than I usually am and much more unco

**Hey everyone. First – thanks for looking at this story. Second – this is replacing a pretty crappy oneshot I did with the same title a couple of months ago. This will be a continuing story, not a oneshot, and please tell me what you think because I haven't written MR stories before and I want to see what people think! Thanks heaps, and please, read on!**

The first thing I noticed when I woke up, was that I was higher than I usually am, warmer than I usually am and much more uncomfortable that I usually am. With a groan I punched the mattress and pillows beneath me, trying to force them into a more comfortable position. They didn't budge. I punched harder. No movement. Infuriated, I opened my eyes and started punching the life out of the mattress, more out of my annoyance than actually getting anywhere to being comfortable. Suddenly, I heard a moan from beneath me. Ahah!! An Eraser!! I tried to punch harder but found I couldn't. I looked at my wrists and found… handcuffs?? Why was I handcuffed to a frickin' Eraser that I couldn't even frickin' see?? Wait a minute…

"Fang??" I looked down again to see a handsome teenaged guy staring fearfully and slightly confusedly back up at me. His chocolate brown locks flopped in his eyes, of the exact same beautiful hue, and he shook his head to get them away. Dammit. I'd forgotten his cool ability to basically disappear…

"Max? Er… What did I do?? Um… Sorry?" But I wasn't listening, too surprised that Fang wasn't in fact an Eraser. I sighed in relief and flopped back down to bed. Before I remembered Fang was there. And I was lying on top of him. And our noses were practically touching. I was equally aware of my scantily clad breasts pushing into his bare chest. He tried to look at me in the eyes but only succeeded in becoming cutely cross-eyed. He frowned at his failure. Suddenly it was all to much. I burst out laughing at this guy, cross-eyed and frowning beneath me. I giggled and chortled and chuckled until suddenly I realised my embarrassment and stopped.

"Hey Fang."

"Hey Max." I held up our handcuffed wrists.

"Did you do this?" He looked up and frowned.

"Nope." Huh.

"Well. Ok then. I see."

"What do we do now?" I shrugged. Then brightened.

"Let's get up and see if we can walk!!" He grinned.

"Why not?"

We soon discovered our legs were also handcuffed (legcuffed?) together. Huh.

"Ok." I said with my leader voice. Then sighed. "Ok, I have no plan."

"I do!" Fang piped up. I glared at him. "Ok." he said. "On the count of three, move your right leg off the bed. Ok?" I nodded. "Ok, 1, ARGH!!" Just as he said, I had moved my leg on the count of three, which really meant the count of one. But he hadn't and we had promptly fallen off the bed. Now we were in the exact same position, but on the floor.

"Why didn't you move, you nimrod?" I half shrieked. "Now we're stuck here!!"

"Well, why did **you** move!! I said count of three not count of one!!" he yelled back.

"Count of three always means count of one, idiot!!"

"Says who!" he challenged.

"Says me!"

"You can't say that!! Someone else has to!"

"Oh really? Well I just DID!! So HA! You fail!!"

"I never fail!!"

"You did just then!!"

"You lie!!"

"No I don't, you lie!!"

"I hate you." I gasped.

"Woah! Hold it right there mister!! You're not allowed to hate me!!" He raised an eyebrow as if saying who's-gunna-stop-me-huh?-punk.

"I'll kiss you if you love me!" He frowned for a minute…

"Er… I love you?"

"Ahah!! Yes!!" I pushed my mouth firmly to his and our lips moulded against each other like liquid jelly in a glass jelly mould… Mmmm yummy. Jelly. I paused to take a breath and Fang stuck his tongue in my mouth. Mmm…. even more yummy than jelly… My tongue joined his and we kissed lovingly and continuously until…

A high-pitched voice sounded, giggling, "Our lips moulded like liquid jelly in a jelly mould?? Surely you can think of a better simile than that, Max!"

**Ok, that's it chapter 1! Please tell me what you think, constructive criticism and all that. Thanks guys! **

**kris**


	2. Angels Plan

**Chapter 2**

_A high-pitched voice sounded, giggling, "Our lips moulded like liquid jelly in a jelly mould?? Surely you can think of a better simile than that, Max!" _

I pulled away from Fang, glancing up at her in an annoyed way. Angel. My angelic little sister… How sweet of her.

"Ah. I should have guessed," I said, my voice a sarcastic monotone. She giggled again.

"Cool handcuffs, huh?"

"Um… totally." I coughed. Iggy came in, chuckling.

"You guys having fun there?" he laughed. I glared at him. Alright then.

"Fang, on the count of thre… no, two, we shall both sit up. Okeydokey?" He nodded seriously. "Ok. One, TWO!" I hoisted myself up, using the ground (and Fang) to sit upright. Once up I grinned triumphantly. Iggy roared with laughter. I frowned.

"Want some help?" he asked, after he finally stopped laughing. Then Angel squealed.

"NOOOO!!!!! It will be funnier to watch them stumble around!" Iggy grinned, stepping backwards.

"Why didn't I think of that?" he questioned. "Let's watch!"

I glared at him again, before finally looking back to Fang. Then I had a light bulb (no, not literally you sick minded people). This would get them out of the room. I winked at Fang – he looked slightly scared. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Oh Fang!" I sighed melodramatically. "It seems we will never escape their clutching…. clutches. Kiss me now!" He grinned getting the gist.

"Certainly, oh fair one! And we shall make love till we both lay to waste!" At that we planted our mouths firmly together and rolled around. Angel stared curiously.

"Iggy, whats making love? I thought they already loved each other, so why do they have to make more?" Iggy sighed.

"Thanks Max!" then he sighed again, leading Angel out of the room as he did so.

"Well, you see honey, there's this thing that happens when two people love each other very…." His voice drifted off into the distance. I grinned. But didn't stop kissing Fang. Maybe later…

**Please tell me what you think! I hate not knowing, just putting up things that might be useless to anyone's enjoyment… Oh well I have fun writing them I guess! Thanks guys.**


	3. Toilet Escapades

**Chapter 3**

**Wow. That is what I have to say to you awesome and insanely cool reviewer!! I don't think I've ever had so many reviews for a chapter before!! I love you guys to oblivion and back, thanks so much!! YAY!!! Hap is me!**

**So, on with the story (I made it specially long, just for you, lol). **

"_Well, you see honey, there's this thing that happens when two people love each other very…." His voice drifted off into the distance. I grinned. But didn't stop kissing Fang. Maybe later… _

A couple of hours later, the inevitable happened. We had been sitting lopsidedly on the couch (both trying to get the best position), when suddenly I realised how incredibly awfully and painfully embarrassing this whole ordeal could be… especially right now, as I was in dire need of a toilet. Now. As in right this very second now. Damn it…

"Fang!!!" I wailed miserably, "I have a problem!!" He immediately swiveled round to face me a concerned look of worry on his gorgeous face.

"What's wrong Max?" I blushed and squirmed a little.

"Uh… I need to pee." His face said it all. Oh dear. He coughed delicately.

"Hem hem. I see… Well, I guess… we could… um…." Fang fell silent. I frowned in annoyance.

"Yeah. I had the same equally brilliant idea. Thanks." He shrugged apologetically, then his face brightened. So did my day… Aw, yay my sweet thoughts!! Anyways…

"I have a plan!!!" he exclaimed, "Or as the French, Ahah! Un plan!" I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. Plan is..?" He grinned.

"Well, you know, I could just leave you here, busting for the loo for a while… You know, just to make sure you fully appreciate the," here he tossed his head back, flipping his dark out majestically, "brilliantness of my planning." He grinned back at me again, meeting my narrowed eyed glare with mischievous glints in his own eyes.

"Or you could not…" The words were casually threatening, but he could sense my taught muscles, poised and ready to pounce.

"There's always that option," he said quickly to placate me and smiled an ingratiating smile. I smiled back pleasantly.

"So anyway, that plan…"

"Yeah – ok here it is. You know when we were little and we used to play that hand game? You know, _wash the dishes, dry the dishes, turn the dishes ooovvveerrrr_?"

I nodded, reminiscing… Hmmm…. The good old days… When innocent six year old girls were still actually innocent…

"Yeah well, we turn the dishes half way over – get it? And so we're back to back. Then you can pee all you want." He beamed proudly at the coolness of his plan. I found no faults and grinned back.

"Let's do it!"

10 minutes later, we finally were back to back.

"Awesome!" I cried, "Now get me to that toilet! Pronto!" So we waddled (yes, I know… shameful times, never to be repeated) back to back all the way to the toilet, and managed to get into the bathroom without major problems… pretty impressive by our standards. Then we reached the toilet and I started to blush again. How on earth was I gunna get my knickers off without rubbing my bare but up against his??? Then I groaned, with both annoyance and astonishment, at how stupid we were. I sighed and looked over my shoulder.

"Fang! I'm not a guy!!!" He flipped his head upside-down to stare at me quizzically.

"Uh, yes Max. I had realised that…" I glared.

"Haha, you're so funny, but…" I began sarcastically, but Fang interrupted

"I know." He grinned again, and I growled at him.

"ANYWAY, me being in the position of not being a guy happens to put me into the situation of that I can't pee forwards!!" My eyebrows were shooting out of my head by this stage as I tried to make my point.

"I don't get it." I sighed. I was gunna have to explain it technically then. So be it.

"Right Fang. What happens when you, being a guy, pee on the loo?" He blushed.

"Well, I pull down my pants, then my knickers, face the loo, hold…" I stopped him there.

"Okay I get the point. But you face the loo right?" He frowned, still not getting my point.

"Uh, yeah I guess." Yay for Fang! We're getting somewhere!!

"Ok, so what happens when **I**, being a girl, go to the toilet?"

"Um… You pee?" He said it as a question, still unsure of where I was going. Ugh.

"I sit down on the frickin loo ok?? I can't believe we have spent 5 minutes discussing this! Ugh!!" He nodded slowly.

"Oh yeah, I get it now. So we have to un-turn the dishes right?"

"Right." We did so.

I coughed slightly.

"Okeydokeys Fang, close your eyes." He squeezed them shut tightly. Alright, in and out quickly. I shed my pants and knickers and leant down carefully, supporting most of his weight as I lowered down. I sighed in relief as I peed.

Then I heard shouting in the hallway, the sounds of an exasperated Iggy talking to an exasperated Nudge.

"I'm telling you Igs, the frickin shower is frickin mouldy!! I will not shower in a mouldy shower!!"

"Nudge, I had a shower this morning! I saw no mould!! Therefore there is none!!"

"You're blind, you twit!" With this last comment, Nudge and Iggy came storming into the bathroom to inspect the shower. What they saw was me, groaning with relief on the loo with my pants around my ankles and Fang lying, eyes closed, on top of me. It probably wasn't anatomically possible for her eyes to go any wider.

"Max?? What are you doing??" Nudge asked a little fearfully. Iggy groaned.

"Oh Jesus, not again!! Please tell you guys weren't serious about what you said before…"

Holy _____.

**Well, there you go, another chapter. Reviews please guys, tell me what you think! Love yous!**

**~ kris ~ **


	4. Pancakes and Maple Syrup!

**Chapter 4**

**Heya guys. Yay for chapter four!! 4's a good number don't you think? Oh well. On with it! And by the way, if you have any ideas for what Max and Fang should do next, please write in and say! Thanks guys.**

**~ kris ~**

"_Max?? What are you doing??" Nudge asked a little fearfully. Iggy groaned._

"_Oh Jesus, not again!! Please tell you guys weren't serious about what you said _

_before…" _

_Holy _____._

The next day, pretty early in the morning, even before breakfast, we were all sprawled

out on the couch. Nudge had been placated, Iggy throttled and now it was time for Angel.

I sat up slightly and stared at her miserably.

"Angel…" I whined, "When will you let us out? My feet hurt… and my wrists! It's not

fair!!" Fang smiled mischievously.

"Or, as the French say, C'est ne pas juste!!" I glared at him. Angel just giggled.

"Soon, soon. You still haven't learnt the full requirements of a working relationship, you

know," she added, her voice lowering seriously, "It's very important to get the dynamics

of contact with the opposite sex up to scratch."

"Are you for cereal???" I screeched, "You're only 6." She raised her eyebrows

condescendingly.

"Max, the correct term is 'Are you serious?' and besides," she sniffed, "Might I remind

you that **you** are the one handcuffed and whining to **me** and not the other way round?" I

pouted. Still not fair.

Then we heard Iggy shout from downstairs in the kitchen.

"Guys!!!" he bawled, "Breakfast is ready!" Sighing I heaved myself up, with Fang

alongside and we hurried down to the breakfast table. We hooked ourselves round the

table, so that our hands joined over the table, our legs joined under the table and we were

sitting on opposite sides of the table. Got it? Good. Cos I'm not saying table one more

time. Well, except for that time. Anyways…

I sniffed the air and the delicious scent of crisp pancakes wafted by my nose. I groaned

with anticipation.

"Please," said Nudge, "Don't make that sound. It provokes extremely disturbing mental

images after what happened," she shuddered, remembering, "in that bathroom." I

growled at her, but contained myself. Humph.

Iggy placed two plates heaped full of pancakes right under my nose and one under Fangs

nose. We both breathed in the sweet floury aroma. Iggy drizzled maple syrup on top,

extravagantly I might add, and sprinkled on some icing sugar. Heavenly… I pulled back

my arm to take up my food, not bothering with table etiquette, forgetting temporarily

about the handcuffs. So Fang was pitched forwards, his face landing right in his plate of

pancakes. I couldn't help myself – I started giggling like a maniac, throwing my head

back with mirthless laughter… Until a sticky and pancakey Fang glared at me, and pulled

his own arms back, so a few seconds later I was also sticky and pancakey. I looked up

and poked my tongue out at him. He gave me a self-satisfied well-what-are-you-gunna-

do-about-it? look. I showed him exactly what I was gunna do, by doing it. I reached

down to my stack of pancakes and grabbed one with my teeth. I whipped it up and

smacked it into Fangs face, maple syrup and all, so the almost sickly sweet syrup was

dripping slowly down his face. But he caught the end is his mouth and started eating at

the pancake, with a smirk. But I would not be beaten!! I started chomping my way

through the other side and we kept at it, like the dogs eating noodles in The Lady and the

Tramp, and eventually we met up in the middle, both our mouths stuffed full of pancake.

After staring at each other for a couple of seconds, we both burst out laughing, spraying

tiny crumbs of pancake in each others faces.

The rest of the flock looked on, watching sadly.

Fang grabbed another pancake with his teeth and offered it to me. I raised my eyebrows

skeptically, but ate from it anyway. Hmm…. Yummy sugary goodness. We swapped

pancakes until they were all gone. I grinned at him and he grinned back – ah, the sweet

fruits of team work!! **(a/n: yay! team work! group hugs everyone! lol, anyway)**

New problem arose…

"Maaaaaaaaxxxxx," Fang said in that annoying tweedling voice he puts on when he

wants something.

"What is it?" I sighed. Nothing could make this morning, no this whole handcuff thingy,

more embarrassing then it already was!!

"I need a drink."

Apparently, it could.

**Reviews please!! You guys are such fantastic reviewers anyway, but hey! Automatic response I guess :). Thanks!**

**~ kris ~**


	5. Fun With Flying!

**Ok guys, here's chapter 5! (Finally!)**

"_What is it?" I sighed. Nothing could make this morning, no this whole handcuff thingy, _

_more embarrassing then it already was!!_

"_I need a drink." _

_Apparently it could._

"No Fang," I said calmly. "You are not drinking."

"Oh yes I am!!" he squealed. "Iggy! Bring forth to me a bowl with pineapple juice in it!"

Iggy shrugged and did as asked, placing the bowl in front of Fang, who triumphantly

waggled his eyebrows. He then dipped his head into the bowl and began lapping it up like

a dog. Everyone stared, eyes wide. Once he was done, he leaned back, sighed and

smacked his lips.

"Yum." I rolled my eyes. "Ok guys, Nudge, Angel washing up duty. Iggy you're free.

Gazzy, clear the table."

"Hey Max," asked Nudge innocently, "What are we doing today?" I pursed my lips

suspiciously. Where were the other 19 questions?

"I dunno… What, have you got any ideas?" Still suspicious. She giggled.

"Well yeah, me and Angel were thinking we could go to that place where we met those

hawks and practice flying and stuff." I stiffened. Oh no…

"That's a great idea!" piped up Gazzy, "Me and Igs never really got to see much of it!"

"And I never did," Angel said sadly. Aw, I couldn't resist this… However much she

was torturing Fang and I, she was my baby, and she had been locked away while we

were there.

"Sure sweetie, let's go." Immediately, she grinned evilly.

"Thanks Max!" Oh shit.

"Yeah," muttered Fang beside me, "Thanks Max."

______________________________________________________________________

10 minutes later, Fang and I were outside. Facing one another, with grimly determined

faces, we took off – and immediately crashed back down.

"Ow," said Fang, "That hurt." He pouted. Suddenly, I twirled inwards through his arms,

so he was hugging me tightly from behind. I tucked in my wings securely and peered up

at Fang, smiling innocently.

"Off we go!" I piped up, and, pouting even poutier, Fang took off, his coal wings beating

powerfully. I grinned. Oh yes. This was the life…

**Sorry its been so long! And sorry its short… Please review and tell me any **

**suggestions you have! Thanks.**

**~ kris ~**


	6. Hoot Hoot

**Chapter 6**

"_Off we go!" I piped up, and, pouting even poutier, Fang took off, his coal wings beating_

_powerfully. I grinned. Oh yes. This was the life…_

When we finally arrived back home – a happy Angel, a chattery Nudge, a smiling

Gazzy, an amused Iggy, a very disgruntled Fang, and a giggly me – there was only one

thing to do. After a perfect day, flying, swimming, laughing and running, we were all

exhausted; hot, sweaty and tired. And really, really, REALLY dirty. All in all, I needed

a shower. Badly. Well, actually, so did everyone. As soon as Fang touched down, I

dragged him over to the couch and flopped down onto it, dramatically. He stumbled and

tripped and fell smack down beside me. His head flipped up so I could see he was glaring

at me. Sigh…

"I meend ae sfloer," Fang mumbled, his head drooping onto the pillows with exhaustion.

I smiled cheerily.

"What was that Fangy dear?" He raised his head to look at me.

"I need a shower." Rolling my eyes, I stood up, dragging him with me.

"Wow. I feel enlightened. Any other vital bits of information I must know about your

fascinating life right now? Because, you know, I have all day. In fact, since I seem to be

spending the majority of my life within your vicinity and right now practically sitting on

top of your vicinity, I have all the time in the world. Besides, I already know that you

need a shower, because I can see, smell, hear, taste and touch your dirtiness!!" Strangely,

everyone had started to snicker and chuckle and giggle and snort and chortle and snigger

and titter and laugh.

"Why," I demanded frankly, "Are you all snickering and chuckling and giggling and

snorting and chortling and sniggering and tittering and laughing at my soliloquy?"

"I'm not actually snickering or chuckling or giggling or snorting or chortling or

sniggering or tittering or laughing at you," hooted Nudge, "I'm hooting at you!"

"Ha! He! Ho!!" hooted Iggy, "I'm also hooting at you!" Gazzy rolled his eyes.

"Hoot," he said. "Happy?" Angel grinned.

"I would be hooting," she said considering, "And snickering and chuckling and

giggling and snorting and chortling and sniggering and tittering and laughing. But I'm

really trying to live up to my cute and innocent descriptions. So I'll just sit here and smile

angelically." I sighed testily.

"Well then, what are you all hooting about for goodness sakes??" At this, Nudge and

Iggy roared with laughter, Gazzy sighed louder than I did and flopped to the ground, and

Angel allowed herself a tiny giggle.

"HA!" cried Nudge, tears running down her face, "Oh me! Oh my!! That's funny!"

"What?" I cried despairingly, "What did I do????? Why me??? WAH!!!!!!!!!!!" At that

point I burst into fake tears as I tried with all my might to get them to TELL ME WHAT

YOUR DAMDEDLY LAUGHING ABOUT!!!!! The room went silent for a second.

Oops… Did I say that out loud? (Consult Magic Eight Ball…. Signs point to yes.

Hmmm… I see…)

"Gosh Max," said Nudge, startled, "I never realised you felt so strongly about this." I

sniffed.

"Well, I do." So humph. But Iggy started laughing again.

"Did you get the joke though??" he hooted, "It was funny!" That started Nudge off again.

"Yeah!" she hooted, "It was hilarious!!"

"JUST TELL ME!"

"Well," Nudge began, "You see, we're birdish and we hooted!! You get it? Like owls go

'hoot hoot'. HAHAHAHA." I growled. Menacingly…

"I didn't mean the stupid joke!! I meant what were you laughing about in the first

place?"

"Oh yeah!" cried Iggy, "That was even funnier!!!" He started laughing again, harder than

before.

"I know!" laughed Nudge. "Aren't we just hoots! Get it??" The two of them were rolling

around on the floor with laughter, clutching their stomachs by now. Suddenly Iggy

stopped.

"Oh yeah. It's because you have to have a shower with Fang." He started laughing again.

I pouted, kicking at the carpet.

"It's that funny."

**I cant believe how annoying I must be!! I always get so frustrated at people who **

**don't update and here I am and I haven't updated in about 500 million years.**

**I am so sorry, you can send me all kinds of hate mail if you so wish. But I promise**

**to try my very, very hardest to get another chapter up soon. **

**Yours apologetically,**

**~ kris ~**


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